Monday, March 2, 2009
Sons Birthday. Personal Journal Part 4
Dorothy called around 1:53 pm. Children were asleep, knowing the nature of the call I didn’t answer the call. She later called again at 6:42pm. I told Josh that it was Dorothy and Josh stated that he didn’t want to talk with her. I didn’t answer the call. This was my son first birthday without his mother being present and felt that no good would come from talking with her myself at this time. Because I am unemployed at this time. For the first time in my child life I am unable to buy him a present. To make a long story short. I was not in the best of moods.
Joshua received a envelope with a birthday card, a GamePro magazine and a written note from Dorothy. I gave them to Joshua when he woke up. The birthday card contained money ($20.00). I asked Joshua if Jesse and I could read the letter, and Joshua agreed. Joshua was very happy about receiving the money. I asked Joshua about the card and Josh stated that he would keep it. I then asked about the letter and Joshua stated that he didn’t know what parts were true and what parts were a lie. I asked him what he wanted me to do with it and Joshua stated that he didn’t care. After reading the letter myself, it made me angry. The letter was so unreal. The letter asked Joshua if he was having a good summer! God his mother just walked out of his life a few months ago. What is she thinking? I understand why Josh said that he didn’t know what the truth was and what was a lie! The Letter from Dorothy was written like he was at camp or something. No were in this letter did she mention anything about (leaving, moving to Wisconsin, the reason she lied about living with her parents in Lombard. Nothing) current events. It also stated that she tried to call him on his birthday, but there was no answer. God, Again. The children just told her on 7/7/06 that they didn’t want to talk with her on the phone at this time. Why in God’s name would let her think that he would talk with her on a day like this. Is there something psychologically wrong with her?
Dorothy stated in this letter that Jesse would be receiving a card as well and that she would call him on his birthday. I asked Jesse if he would talk with her and Jesse stated that he didn’t want to. After Joshua told me he didn’t care what I did with his letter, I just shredded it. Later I wish that I didn’t. It might have been important to save it. It might have shown Dorothy’s state of mind. But as I stated, I couldn’t understand why she would not had tried to explain her actions and why she felt she needed to not just leave us but also to move to Wisconsin. Move into a trailer with a married man, why she told us all so many lies. The letter made me very upset! Like I said, the letter was so unreal. After this event, I informed the boys that I didn’t want to talk with her for the rest of this month. The boys agreed. I didn’t explain to the boys why I didn’t want to talk with her. I just told them I have enough for one month! God, please help me to deal with this women! I don’t know what to expect next. She is so unpredictable. There is no logic in her actions. I have no ideal of her emotionally state is or how she is treating Ryan. Like when the children told her they didn’t want to talk with her. She didn’t get upset. That would have brought me to my knees in tears. I have talked with many people about her actions and they all do the same thing, they just shake their heads in disbelief. So that I know that I am not the only one having a hard time understanding this mess! Dorothy knew that we were months behind in the rent here and that my temporary assignment would be ending soon at Kelly Temporary Services. But none of this matter to her! She walked away from her financier responsible as easy as her responsible as a parent from her two sons. I know that my relationship (God what relationship?) was over, but did she have to do it this way. And what about her relationship with Josh and Jesse? How does she hope to have one with all the lies and uncaring attitude that is coming from her? How does the boys feel about all this and God how I wish they would tell me! I tried many times to talk with them but I am getting no place. Jesse just tells me he doesn’t want to talk now and Joshua states that he is glad she is gone. I ask them each day how they are feeling and always the same reply-”fine”. I will keep trying to talk with the boys but god knows I need a third party’s help!
Dorothy called 3 times on July, 27th. Once at 12:59pm. Josh and myself were home at the time. Josh stated that he didn’t want to talk with Dorothy. And I stated that because Dorothy was not working with me. That I didn’t want to speak with her. Note to self: Because this was the 1st time I couldn’t buy my son a birthday present (no money, because I am unemployed at this time) I felt that it also be best not to speak with Dorothy.
Dorothy then called again at 3:29pm. No one was home.
Dorothy Then called the third time at 5:13pm. The boy were at their friends home and I was not home.
Jesse’s birthday. received call from the 608-592-1768 at 3:00pm. Asked Jesse before hand if he wanted to speak with his mother. Jesse stated that he did not. I didn’t answer the phone. Jesse came into the living room and asked me how many times the phone rang. I told him I didn’t know but it was around 10+. Then at 3:03pm received 2nd call from 608-592-1768. I told the children that was enough and unplugged the phone line from the phone outlet. Joshua then wanted to get online. I reconnected the phone line. After Joshua finished with the computer. I left the phone line attached.
Joshua later on in the day received a call from Warren (Joshua’s friend) and he told Joshua that he received a call from his mother (Warren stated that Dorothy called him at 3:15pm) asking Warren why their was no answer at the 847-531-5204 (home phone), Warren told her he didn’t know and to keep trying. Warren also later informed me that Dorothy said “I am driving around Elgin and no one was answering the phone at home and request to talk with Josh, this of course was a lie because all the phone calls beforehand were made from Wisconsin and in fact wasn't here in Elgin. Warren informed her that "Josh wasn’t with him” Joshua was very upset that his mother would call Warren and get him involved with this. I then told Joshua that I had to call his mother. To found out why she would call Warren.
Because Both Joshua and I were upset about the called to Warren I didn’t note the time that I called Dorothy Chambers.
The first call to Dorothy: Wisconsin phone number.
I asked why she called Warren and stated and Joshua was very upset with her to calling his friend. Dorothy stated the reason she called Warren’s cell phone number was because no one answer the home phone. I told Dorothy that, “no one answer the home phone was because the children didn’t wish to speak with her. I also stated that “I didn’t wish to speak with her at this time”. When I told Dorothy that Joshua was upset with her for calling Warren’s cell, she didn’t seem upset or concerned about that! I then asked her again what right she felt she had to contact Warren and then Dorothy stated “why do you have to be such a jerk”. I then stated that this phone call was over. Dorothy then hung up.
The Second call to Dorothy: Wisconsin phone number.
I decided to try one more time to talk with her. Concerning the issue about calling Warren and to explain why we didn’t answer the home phone when she called. Also, to ask her to stop harassing us with the repeated phone calls.
I stated to Dorothy that “this is not going to work like this and asked why she called so many time on 7/27/06. I told her that on 7/27/06 she called 3 times in one day. We confirmed the time and she agreed that she indeed called us at 12:59, 3:29 and 5:13pm. I asked her why she felt that she needed to call so many times and Dorothy stated “I wanted to know if Joshua received his birthday card”. Dorothy also stated that she didn’t know if I stole and/or didn’t his give his birthday card to him. I was very upset that she would make a comment of this nature. I then paused to regain my demeanor and Dorothy started to yell “HELLO!, HELLO!“, I told Dorothy that I didn’t like it when she did this and to stop. She didn’t reply and I stated to her that she just called me a thief. Dorothy replied that she didn’t. Because Joshua was in the living room at the time I put the phone on speaker and then asked Joshua to state if he received the card or not. Joshua reply was that “of course I did”. Dorothy then stated something about us recording her. Joshua told her that we don’t have a recorder in the home and said “what recorder?“. She then stated that we could be using the answering machine (answering machine broke weeks ago). I then informed Dorothy that we didn’t have a answering machine to record her. (Note to self: Dorothy had stated this issue many times about recording her! Why is she so concerned about us recording her? I am not at this time not recording any phone calls from her, should I? Is she in fact recording me or us? And if she is for what reason? Why is she playing these games? I am so weary of these games! Does she not know that by doing this, she in fact is just breaking down the lines of communication and in fact I feel that instead of working with us she is in fact working against us.)
I asked again why she feels the need to call us so many time. Dorothy stated that she wanted to talk with the children. Not knowing why she is not listening to them or validating them with their request not to talk or see her at this time. I told her to wait and then asked again if Joshua wanted to talk with his mother. Joshua stated “No”. I asked Dorothy if she heard that and she said “Yes”. I then asked the same question to Jesse. Jesse was sitting on his bed and was very trier so he just nodded No. I told Dorothy This. I then stated why I didn’t want to talk with Her. I stated “because you are not working with me”. Dorothy denied this and I stated that was a lie and why I did believe this. I inform her that even after her promise to both Joshua and I (See phone conversation on 07/0706) to sign the Illinois Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity, which she agreed. That in fact she has done nothing concerning this issue. Dorothy then stated that “I don’t have to talk with you anymore(me)”. I then said “you don’t want to talk with me”? Dorothy then stated “Yes”. I then said that was okay, it was fine and then I said goodbye and hung up the phone. (Note to self: I guess this is how she is working with me by not talking with me. Man, I feel like I am talking with a child and not a concerned parent for the best interest and wishes of her children! God help me, How do I work with this person? This would be the last time I spoke with Dorothy Marie Chambers even to this day)
I would like to state that all this happened on Jesse’s birthday. We all knew that nothing good would come by talking with her today. That by the children stating that they did not wish to speak with her, might just add fuel to the fire. And that by me talking with her, being that I was very depressed would not be in the best interests of the children. And that’s why we didn’t wish to speak with her. But felted that I had to call her because of the phone call to Warren. Telling Warren that she was driving around in Elgin and that no one was home and asked Warren if she to talk with Joshua. Warren knowing that she was lying reply by telling her to just keep trying. I felt that there was no reason to warrant her call to Warren and involving Joshua’s friend in these issues. Both the children and I agree that Dorothy actions, were deceiving and had no problem lying to Warren. I believe that Dorothy is just making this transition period harder for both the children and I. That as always, her needs and wishes are more important then the best wishes and the desirers of her children.
After this call from Dorothy the boy and I agreed that maybe a *letter to her would confirm that they (boys) didn’t want to talk, see her. The boys told her on the phone many time, but she just will not validate their wishes. The boys then agreed and wrote her a letter that weekend. I mailed them a few days later.
Dorothy’s boyfriend called (get date) threaten me not to have the boys “write those type of letters” and if I kept doing this he would give me problems! I say that he had no “right to call me” and “who does he think he is telling me how to raise my children and that he thought he had a right to dictate how my children wanted to communicate to their mother“. This made me very upset, and after this phone conversation with him. I called my sister to have her (Judy )communicate to Dorothy that the letter was how the children felt about what was happening in their life concerning her actions and decisions. Boyfriend refuse to let my sister speak with Dorothy, stating that she wasn’t home that was a lie because later in their conversation, Boyfriend asked Dorothy a question which was about a statement my sister made to him (did you try to sleep with Jim before you left) which she reply No. The boyfriend told my sister that both Dorothy and he didn’t believe that the boys wrote these letters! Judy stated that indeed the boy did write the letters. And to believe as he will. Judy stated to boyfriend that “don’t call my brother anymore, you have nothing to do with this. That this issue was between Dorothy and James, and that Jim didn’t wish to receive any more phone calls from him and that he was not to call (my sister) her as well.
After this incident I change my home phone number, believing that once again Dorothy broke her *promise to me. Also, as per her request to “I Do not have to talked with you anymore”. I have not try not to contact her. Believing that any attempts to work with Dorothy Chambers at best would be unsuccessful because of her inability or desirer not to work with me!
*Update: New home phones number was given on 6/15/06 to Dorothy Chambers with the agreement that said number is not to be given to anyone else. Which again she broke!
November 22nd 2006: It has been 6 months that Dorothy Chambers have be gone from the children life. I have not seen Ryan Phillips in those 6 months.