Wednesday, March 18, 2009
READ ME FIRST
When reading the journal you will see many typo's and sentence fractions. The journal is just as I wrote it on the day I wrote it and was never proof read or corrected for spelling errors. The journal itself is the original and in it's original form.
After Dorothy Chambers told me about leaving the children and I on May 22, 2006 I was torn between being relived from all her many problems (emotional and psychological) and struggles (financial) that I went through when she lived with us for those 17 years. But I was also feeling the lost of my self from her and that love which I at the time believed we had at one time. In short I was very glad to see her go but also very much at a lost to see her go. But I truly believe in the beginning we would just work out some type of visitation between the children and her and then go on from there. I guess because I thought that even something this simple was possible between us goes to show the reader just how much denial I myself lived in at this time of my life. I also didn’t know nor have any type of understanding about what a personality disorder was or that something like this even existed. If I for one minute thought that my life with Dorothy was dysfunctional and a emotional roller coaster before she left I am sorry to inform the readers that I was in for the biggest surprise of my life about what was just around the bend concerning Dorothy Chambers and us. So dear readers when reading this journal please keep in mind that this writer doesn’t have a clue what a sociopathic person is or that there are people out there that suffers from a personality disorder.
After Dorothy Chambers left us our lives became even more of a mental and emotional struggle then before. What both the children and I witness after Dorothy left was nothing less then a “mind fuck” which none of us could understand or comprehend. Dorothy’s strange and bizarre behavior became more bizarre and bewildering as the days unfolded before us. Dorothy Chambers changed into something no one knew or even knew existed at all.
Sociopaths are perfect chameleon and can morph into anyone they so choose too. Hooking their next victim just as easy as they hooked you. Because sociopaths view everything in black and white terms one day you are put on a pedestal and then the next day (hypothetically speaking) you are kick to the ground. One day you have value and worth the then the next day you are yesterday’s trash. This happens in each relationship with a sociopath and if you are in one expect it to happen to you as well sooner or later.
Because of all these many “quick” changes and constant demands placed on my children and myself in a very short time from Dorothy, I then started this journal to just keep times and events in order for myself. But soon my personal journal started helping me to deal with it better both emotionally and psychologically so that I kept writing it until there wasn’t any further need to do so. Because my children and I felt that NC (no contact) was best for us in the end. My journal soon ended after we began our commitment to total NC. I would also like to add that NC saved us from further emotional and psychological suffering at her hands and that we live by it and committed to it each and everyday of our life’s.