Thursday, August 20, 2015

The False Parent

The False Parent due to this disorder must be addressed whenever anyone who wants children or have them before getting involved with that person...

Monday, August 26, 2013

Trying to keep them accountable is keeping you hooked

In my long recovering and then also involved in other sites that educates the general public about personality disorders, I found this thread labeled : Trying to keep them accountable is keeping you hooked, from the site

I believe that the writer is correct that whenever we try to manage and/or control other people’s lives, we do become “hooked” or in another view involved and acceptances for their behavior. While we are in fact “hooked” or invested in the lives of our love ones, we should challenge behavior we find unacceptable from dysfunctional toxic partners to our children and ourselves. In healthy stable relationship we should feel secure too expect accountability from both partners. 

My reply to this thread was:

“You Can't make this stuff up”

Right on Man!!

Once a neighbor of ours witness her running over my son’s ramp that I made for him for skate-boarding. I heard her yelling at Jesse inside of the house, so I came outside to see what all the noise was about and what she was upset about to be screaming at our son.

At the time my neighbor was standing outside his house door and saw Dorothy run over the skate-board ramp as she backed up our van to leave.

When Dorothy saw me coming out of the house, she began screaming at me for making the skate-board ramp for Jesse.

After witnessing this event by Herb my neighbor who was laughing at the time, said to Dorothy.

“You first screamed at Jesse for leaving it there by the side of the road. You then screamed at James for building the skate-board ramp for Jesse, but remember Dorothy, you were the one that ran over it!"

Readers, if looks could kill that would have as she looked hard at Herb in perfect silence, said nothing to us and then got into the van and drove away at top speed...

Remember readers, love ones get the top abuse from their dysfunctional toxic abusers but sometimes friends and neighbors get a free pass..

Side note to readers: Dorothy never mentioned that event ever again, I believe because a neighbor witnessed her rage at her own family and abusers hate witnesses too their abusive behavior.

Source: Men Who are Abused

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Thursday, May 23, 2013

The Greatest Truth Never Told

There are only two types of people in this world. Those who want to be left alone and Those who refuse to leave you alone. Those that live grace and those that only seek to dominate. Those that don't leave you alone are hurt people, who are from this competitive world and have become like their abusers. Who only want an eye for an eye. They seek to pleasure themselves, but also for others Too please them too. They seek admiration, that they can not find within themselves. They seek to be loved, for they can not love themselves. They force relationships based on money and manipulation, because this is all they know. They seek to dominate others because they can not hold on to others. They do not know of grace and love, so they seek to destroy, that which they can't understand. Destruction is far easier for them, then to look at themselves change or addressing a past hurt.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

I seem to have my own web site called due to the fact that I'm the only one on it. And for those responsible for it I personally thank you. Those that suffer from personality disorder will (as stated many times before) never take responsibility for their actions and will always need to shift blame away from themselves. Which is one reason they are what I call the “perfect victim”. This trait is one you will always witness whenever meeting a new Dysfunctional Toxic Person (DTP)  if dating them and/or involved with business with them.

One thing any “real” victim must understand is how they the victim need to take their own personal responsibility in that relationship, again albeit a personal or business relationship. This is how one goes from becoming a victim to a survivor. Unlike our counter part the Dysfunctional Toxic Person  (DTP) who again tell others how much past wife husband family members or business partners have hurt them taken advantage of them lied to them and so forth and so forth. The DTP never moves from being the victim to becoming a survivor. Due to this shift to blame others and never look at themselves by taking part in an abusive relationship, they stay the victim for today tomorrow and all their yesterdays. Sad but true!

Yes I too must and do take full responsibility for my part in that dysfunctional toxic relationship. Learn from it and then grow from that pain. Unless I do take full responsibility for my part then I will forever remain the victim. Seeking out other “Dorothy Chambers” which will only repeat this sick dysfunctional toxic dance between two sick twisted souls.

In healing and then becoming a survivor, I will be stronger wiser and more spiritual then before. My heart and mind free from “denial”. No longer seeking out those who are themselves spiritually dead. You see dear readers when God judges me and then ask me why I did this or that. I need to have his answers with a pure heart. And only the blood of Christ can do that...

Anyway, here is what is written on “” which seem I am the only one on it. I do hope readers will enjoy it as much as I did...

Welcome To Evil Bully were we the victims are taking back our lives and not letting the person or persons be bullies to us. A bully can be any setting. Bullies at our schools, places of work, even in general public. The internet has given bullies a huge gift, to be able to reach enormous amounts of people and remain completely anonimous. There is one site called dating psychos that is ruining people's lives. The domain owner Gene Onweller (google will change!) encourages people to post horrible things about their ex's and paint them as a psycho..!! When the victim who has been profiled on that site contacts the site owner he suggests a donation of $100 to remove the profile and then never does. That is illegal to take money from someone without giving service..This clown uses more than one alias another is Pat McGroin....sounds innocent right....Pat M'groin really???? This man has several screws missing in necessary places. What is this teaching our children? This is teaching them it is alright to be a bully but don't get caught at it. Sadly, I became a victim by being friends of a victim. Instead of getting mad, I decided to open up a site where victims can post information about the evil bully and a picture to warn people.. Why should victims be silent? If these sites can stain a person's internet search of their own names, then us victims can use the same technologies to make the taunters out to be the heinous Neanderthals they are. This all started when I googled my own name in 2009 and to my horror I was linked in to one of my old friend's idiot of an ex-boyfriend who had a rant going on her. He was using Dating Psycho website to carry on an endless tirade which sucked people not even in the family into it's black hole. Thanks to this future emolyers may be led into this crap by merely searching my name.
  Back in Jan of 2013 both my friend and I contacted dating psychos website and here is the response that I've got. Webmaster via
Jan 9
to me
Thank you for contacting us.  While your question or comment is very
important to us, we receive hundreds of emails and do not have time to
reply or handle every request.

If you feel you need more immediate attention please read the notice at


As of March 20th 2013 I was informed by e-mail that the law and a National Talk Show is after Gene Onweller and was encourage to file a complaint with the FBI if I had paid him money for the service to take down the profile.. Thank God I didn't give into the extortion but sadly many people did.

10:47 AM (44 minutes ago)
to gothim
If you've established any further information on Gene Onweller, or have started legal action, please let me know. I've set aside just over $30,000 for a class action lawsuit that the FBI and a small but very aggressive and talented legal team is putting together. I have a set list of documents that they need me to collect. There are already enough victims that have stood up and offered their information for our lawsuit, so I don't need your personal information. All what I could use is any additional information you might have. Such as emails from Pat McGroin and your Paypal receipt. Additional emails that he sent you using his pen name, Pat Mcgroin (a testimate to how 'psycho' this guy is).

We've established and properly documented, with proof, 7 accounts of illegal activity from Gene Onweller. Your support will add extra value to the burden of proof that we're coming up with. Government isn't the fastest group of workers, but they're sick and tired of getting reports on Gene Onweller and DatingPsychos. And my financial commitment is connecting the dots to make sure he is shut down for good and put behind bars. The paperwork is already filed and submitted to the FBI, we're just gathering up extra documentation and could use your help!

Someday soon this will be over! He will either be behind bars or spending the likely hundreds of thousands of dollars he collected illegally trying to defend himself in court.


This poor of a excuse of a man not only verbally abuse his victims by posting lies about them on line... He beat up his ex-girlfriend the mother of his children if she did not do what he demanded.. He thinks he has No faults but everyone does in life.. Ladies this man is no prince charming... Save yourself and RUN when you encounter this man.. His Ex-girlfriend suffered  17yrs. of being abused by this dead beat low life scum. It took her courage to leave him.. He isolated her from her family and friends to get her in his control. You have been warned that this person is a EVIL BULLY.
If you have a evil bully that you would like to add to the site you can contact me here

Monday, May 28, 2012


Many victims from Toxic Dysfunctional Relationships ask about closure from the abuser. One thing I have learned about those who suffer from a Personality Disorder is that they don't accept responsibility and will project blame onto others for mistakes within that relationship. Also, such as a NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) you were once a source of supply (Narcissistic Supply) for them and may also have help them and assisted them with money attention or whatever they were looking for in you. So closure isn't something they want plus it's too much like giving and remember they don't share anything. No, sorry but if you want any type of closure. Then you will have to give it to your-self. Closure is within you and due to it being so personal it must come within your own mind body and soul. I like to list a few types of closure I have experience in my own personal healing and self empowerment.

The closure of a relationship born in lies will die a thousand deaths.

Closure for me came in parts. What I mean is whenever I accept a part of my own reality as too what I was dealing with and then accept that new part of reality for myself I gain a portion of a personal closure. One part I would like too share is just how dysfunctional and toxic my life had become due to having an dysfunctional and toxic relationship with someone who will never be able to accept her part and responsibility in a normal and functional relationship. How this person never wanted to change even through on many times she acted as she could. Yes, three times we attended therapy but never once did she see her part and responsibility in this relationship. By giving false hope in a relationship doom to fail is both toxic and dysfunctional. Closure came when I accepted this reality and knew it was time to walk away then once and for all to allow this lie of even being able to have a relationship with my ex to ever becoming a reality for us. 

The closure of what is wrong with me?

Once I accepted the reality that this relationship was doom from the beginning I wonder what's wrong with me. So then closure came in portions of questions. Real soul searching questions. Many of these answers took me back to my own childhood and the relationships I had with those who raised me. Accepting the reality that I was raised in a toxic and dysfunctional family environment since birth. Wondering why my birth mother left me as a child. Why my father was unable to love me due to having an chemical dependency. Sad days as a child that the only thing I wanted for Christmas were parents due to having too live in a foster home with people who nether love me nor care about me. Having lost all contact with my siblings, the very first relationships I had as a new born. It's no wonder why my own personal goal was to have my "own" family even as a young child. Accepting the reality that I was not only psychologically and emotionally abuse but also sexually abused as a child. Yes, dear readers there is much wrong with me and as I started to accept my own reality and responsibility of these types of abuse. Only then did both healing and closure was allow to happen within me. That this child yet still remain inside of me, needed both love too heal and allow to love back with forgiveness and the knowledge of abuse that did happen to him. That this broken child can be heal and allow to become no longer the victim but a survivor. Maybe this is why my lord and savior asked of me to forgive my enemies for only then can real closure and acceptance happen within our souls?

The closure of a cycle of abuse.

I have to be able to see and acknowledge abuse whenever it happen to anyone I love care about or even a stranger in a strange land. I needed to stop the cycle of abuse. My own personal acceptance and acknowledgment of my own abuse on others. I had to understand that if I abuse anyone at anytime during this life, I must go to them and beg for their forgiveness. Pride is a dog that needs a master and training. I came to understand that the only way to stop abusive behavior begins with me and then ends with me. If I don't allow abuse within me do you think I would allow it in others? If I want abuse to end then I must become a example of a person that will never tolerate abuse in my personal life and more importantly in myself, therefore I must lead by example. Words are easy but actions are stronger and longer lasting. If I want abuse to end, then I must understand my own personal responsibility for it's existence. The cycle of abuse ends only when it begins with me and will end with me. A closure of both personal acceptance and responsibility for ending abusive behavior in myself but also in others. Abuse comes in many forms so that one must be open too all types of abuse. So like a small fire if one see abuse, then stamp it out for if not then it came grow just like a forest fire. So I need to lead by example and hope others will follow to end this cycle of abuse.

The closure of self forgiveness and acceptance

While forgiveness comes from both God and people, I came to understand how I needed to forgive myself for wrong done to others and myself. Isn't beating yourself up and not letting go of these wrong a form of self abuse? I believe in is. The acceptance that I am not a perfect person and can and do abuse others is a personal reality and one I must take personal responsibility for. While I desirer to be the best father possible I understand and acknowledge that I not. While I want to be the best possible partner possible at times, the truth is I'm simple am not. So while I must go to those I wrong for forgiveness and how I must understand that I need to try harder, still with the understanding that I have limitation and many personal flaws within me. Self forgiveness and self acceptance is a form of self love. If I can't forgive and accept this limitation in myself, how can I forgive and accept that in others. If one can forgive one self then one can forgive others, if one can accept limitations in one self then on can accept that in others and then and only then if one can love one self then they will be able to love others.