In my long recovering and then also involved in other sites that educates the general public about personality disorders, I found this thread labeled : Trying to keep them accountable is keeping you hooked, from the site Menwhoareabuse.com.
I believe that the writer is correct that whenever we try to manage and/or control other people’s lives, we do become “hooked” or in another view involved and acceptances for their behavior. While we are in fact “hooked” or invested in the lives of our love ones, we should challenge behavior we find unacceptable from dysfunctional toxic partners to our children and ourselves. In healthy stable relationship we should feel secure too expect accountability from both partners.
My reply to this thread was:
“You Can't make this stuff up”
Right on Man!!
Once a neighbor of ours witness her running over my son’s ramp that I made for him for skate-boarding. I heard her yelling at Jesse inside of the house, so I came outside to see what all the noise was about and what she was upset about to be screaming at our son.
At the time my neighbor was standing outside his house door and saw Dorothy run over the skate-board ramp as she backed up our van to leave.
When Dorothy saw me coming out of the house, she began screaming at me for making the skate-board ramp for Jesse.
After witnessing this event by Herb my neighbor who was laughing at the time, said to Dorothy.
“You first screamed at Jesse for leaving it there by the side of the road. You then screamed at James for building the skate-board ramp for Jesse, but remember Dorothy, you were the one that ran over it!"
Readers, if looks could kill that would have as she looked hard at Herb in perfect silence, said nothing to us and then got into the van and drove away at top speed...
Remember readers, love ones get the top abuse from their dysfunctional toxic abusers but sometimes friends and neighbors get a free pass..
Side note to readers: Dorothy never mentioned that event ever again, I believe because a neighbor witnessed her rage at her own family and abusers hate witnesses too their abusive behavior.
Source: Men Who are Abused