My personal journey in understanding and learning about personality disorders and the toxic affects this has on people’s relationships and their children. I hope by sharing my site with others that they too can learn and heal from having a person or persons in their life that are dysfunctional and have cause them so much emotional pain and suffering.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Narcissistic for a Day By James A. Phillips
I woke one day, in a terrible way Short with my children and not caring for their needs in anyway Not talking with my wife, oh what a pig she is She is always that way Not seeing how special I am in every way
Getting ready for work, thinking how they don’t see me, oh the wonderful me! Why, should I care about them in any oh way!
Going to work, I saw people who are fools Just like tools that I can use and use Not seeing how special and great I am and will always be These objects are just for my fun and wants for whatever I need.
At work, I talked with Andy, oh what a fool he can be taken my position that was promise to me Why can’t Andy see, that it was meant for me I’m so special, not like Andy can ever be
I came home oh, what a horrible day for me Why can’t they see the wonderful me I cussed at my children, so selfish they can be My wife I told her I don’t need you and don’t want you with me You are just a pig, not special like me
The room got dark and numbest surrounded me No feeling of love or caring for me No one would talk or look at me Oh, dear God what is happening to me
Awoke in a sweat wanting someone to hold me Oh, what a horrible dream that happen to me A Nightmare no no not a dream at all A Nightmare it had to be!
How horrible it must be To be a narcissistic being in every way and everyday Oh no that’s not for me in any oh way
No, I love my children who are so Special to me in their own special way My wife so sweet and so kind to my children and me Loving and special to us in all and each one in their own way Oh no dear Lord, that’s not for me in any oh way A narcissistic person I can never be not even for a day
1 comment:
Anonymous
said...
I wish my ex-husband could have come to realize it like the last paragraph. I tried so hard.
The Intelligent and Passionate Man By: James Phillips
Once a friend so true to I Told how he saw no fear in me No Man or beast do you fear Stated by this true friend of mine
No, I told my friend so dear and near For there is one who I fear the most
Tell me, tell me asked of me by my dear friend I reply it’s the intelligent and passionate Man I fear and hold in deepest respect
It’s the intelligent and passionate Man With both traits so firmly in place Who scares me and frozen I in my space
You see with intelligent so sharp like a knife Cuts open knowledge both new and old Methodically weighting each in and out Sets in motion cause and effect With patience know only to Job Truly this intelligent and passionate Man I will always fear the most
For you see my dearest friend With passion so true to heart and dear to God That heals him in time of adversary war and pain With passion unable to destroy nor hinder all that which is held close to heart and soul Truly this intelligent and passionate Man I will always fear the most my dearest friend
So I beg of thee my friend of old Allow me to pass this wisdom unto you Please allow intelligent and passionate Man to pass in safety and peace for if not Then truly you will know remorse regret and sorrow Until the ending of your sleepless nights and long days
This Blog/Disclaimer
This blog will allow the reader the take a personal journey into my life. How one can be confused feeling both shame and guilt for having this type of toxic relationship. I for one can’t believe that by hiding our mistakes that one will learn how not to repeat that same mistake. Only when we face our own demons and fears can one learn to battle them and then achieve one’s personal power. Whenever we are involved or left a toxic relationship there must be healing and growth. This is the only path that allows one to go from being a victim and then become the survivor. Asking ourselves some very deep and personal questions and then start looking deep within one selve will we ever be able to learn what happen and then learn how to make sure it never happens again to us. It’s better to look at it this way; if one learned to tolerate dysfunctional behavior when we were younger the probability that we will start new dysfunctional relationships as adults are very high, in short we are at risk because of the many issues with our parents or caretakers. But by learning to accept and understand our past we can learn to stop the cycle of these dysfunctional relationships and learn to stop the abuse.
DISCLAIMER
As stated I am not a trained professional psychologist. What is posted by me is my opinion based in part and/or whole of personal research fact(s) and journaling through personal knowledge made known by living with the subject for 17 years and knowledge thereof. That I/We state had at times suffer monetary emotional and psychological setback due to the subject lack of empathy and shortsighted view(s) by subject means in part and/or whole to exploit thereas to gain and/or take advantage(s). That in my opinion the subject’s personal gain and advantage took presidents before and after the warfare and concerns of other(s). That I/We suffered monetary lost due to action(s) by subject to and/by means of exploitation again as I stated/opinionated to gain personal advantage by subject in questioned. That all thread/posts are in fact my opinion based on personal researches/opinions/facts in part and/or whole of documentation/reporting through journalism views and/or opinion(s) of events/subjects so therefore for future legal actions/processing(s) for the courts and judgment(s) shall review whenever challenged in part and/or whole based on and understood by excising said constitution under my constitutional right(s) under Amendment 1 Freedom of Religion, Press which states:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances
Well there isn’t much to tell others about myself but that I enjoy people who share my values that life is good if one is good. Is fair if one is fair. That what we give to others we also give to ourselves. To love anyone we must love one self first and foremost. To trust another person we must trust ourselves first. To really know someone we must first know who we are and be secure in that belief. That no one has the right to define who you are, feel for you or think for you. That is something only you should do for yourself. That trust is first given but if lost it's hard to recapture from those that lost that trust in you or that trust you had in them.
1 comment:
I wish my ex-husband could have come to realize it like the last paragraph. I tried so hard.
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