Tuesday, April 28, 2009
This was taken from a thread on Lovefraud.com titled “Psychopaths and predatory memory. My reply to Henry was as followed.
“No contact is our only weapon, the closest thing to revenge we will get.”
I too believed this for the longest time (the part about NC, but sorry I disagree it should have anything to do with revenge) until one day I understood that exposure is also a tool we can use.
Exposure for me is a necessary part of the learning process I am going through. By exposing with these types of people, we will accomplish three things.
I call this type of exposure by the initials W.A.R
1) Warn: others about these types of dysfunctional and parasitic people.
If I only knew more about those that suffer from having a personality disorder before I met and started a family with my ex s/p I know things would have been different. I know I would have tried harder to save my children and I from years of verbal abuse by her. Even if I had to break the law I would have tried harder to protect my children. If only I knew about what a personality disorder was, I would at least had more options.
So now my life’s work is exposing these type of personality disorders and the risk one takes whenever we date marry or get involve in these relationships albeit personal or business.
2) Aftermath: I am dealing with the after effect of my personal dysfunctional past relationship with my ex s/p. Now our mind have this ability to “forget” the really horrible and bad events in our lives. The reasons, I am sure there are many, but anyway by exposing these type of people we will remember and not naturally block out those EM (emotional memories) but instead deal with them and try to understand why this happen and how to prevent it from happening again.
3) Reaffirmation. Whenever we take the steps to expose someone with a history of abuse and “bad” relationships, we confirm what we believe to be the truth, as we understand it. The only example I at the moment have is the holocaust and how we must never forget what happen during this war and those that for years suffered and die in silence. Many people would love to forget the holocaust but to do so would allow something like this to happen again. But by us remembering this horrible event and reaffirmation with ourselves of it‘s reality, we can pray and hope it never happens again. The same applies to our past relationships with our s/p. By remembering and reaffirming what really did happen we can go on and let go of this past and leaving it when it belongs “in our past”. And then hope and pray it doesn’t happen to someone else.